True Secret Red Beans and Rice Recipe

I have eaten "Red Beans and Rice" around the world. I have eaten "Red Beans and Rice" in New Orleans, Okinawa, Texas, Indiana, Mexico, California and even South Dakota. If I were to pick the finest place to have eaten Red Beans and Rice it would be Nicholas Junior High in Biloxi Mississippi but, Nicholas is no longer here so I've thought this over for several years and just never really wanted to reveal what it took to make "great" Red Beans and Rice but I will tell you now. See, the truth is that Red Beans and Rice, that you eat in New Orleans or Pop-eye's Chicken and other joints is not the Red Beans and Rice that Southerners eat. Those fake dishes are made with real Red Beans to please the people who "think" Red Beans are used to make "Red Beans and Rice". "Red Beans and Rice" is a recipe that does not involve "Red" beans. True "Red Beans and Rice" is made with Pinto Beans. Nobody eats Red Beans in "Red Beans and Rice". Red Beans are too damn hard all the time. The name is a "misleader" much like the names Iceland and Greenland were intended to be. That way most of you will never make "Red Beans and Rice" that is as good as what a Southerner makes and the secret belongs to us.

Here is a recipe for true "Red Beans and Rice":

1 pound Pinto Beans (soak over night in lightly salted water)
2 rings of Polish Sausage sliced medium to thin (I like the sausage)
1 Jalapeño Pepper
1 whole Yellow Onion
1 Smoked Ham Hock
3 cups of Rice
1 bottle Tabasco
Dash of Salt
Black Pepper

Soak the Pinto Beans overnight and remove the rocks. Anything that doesn't float should be removed. Place in a large pot cover with water and add salt, Smoked Ham Hock, chopped Yellow Onion and sliced Jalapeño Pepper. Cook on medium heat until beans are soft and the Onion is gone. Add all the Polish Sausage and cook until warm. Prepare rice in a separate pot.

To Serve: Fill a bowl three quarters of the way with the Beans and Sausage. Use an Ice Cream scope and place a scope of Rice in the center of the Beans. Flavor the "Red beans and Rice" to your taste with Tabasco. Please do not visit me for 2 days after. This will serve 6 easy.